happy together

i think im in love. i still wont say it out loud or anything but its true. i cant and wont stop thinking about her, not even for a second. she is so beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, and amazing. and the best part is that she actually likes me. no more being tossed around or having my heart yanked and pulled out of my chest. i am just so freakin happy :)

here comes the sun

i've noticed that most of my creativity comes to me when im down, or even depressed. this is the time when the "real you" comes out. it reaches down into your soul and pulls out all the beauty you have left, cuz if you dont then you sink into a deep despair. so let your true self shine forth and light my world once again.

dont you forget about me

i think this is kinda a wussy fear but i bet its a fear that a lot of people have. this fear is the fear of being forgotten. not having left behind something thing that people would look at and say "hey, that was the making of jake." im afraid i'll never reach that point where i can leave something behind. and mostly i want something that will last the ages. when life as we now it is gone and who ever is left be gaze upon it with all its glory and feel overcome with joy or love or whatever. i want to last. i want to live forever even when im gone and through with this world.

these dreams

i havent been able to sleep lately. ive been tossing and turning at night cuz i cant stop thinking of her. she's appearing in my dreams and no matter what happens in it, it keeps me from truly fall asleep. the happy dreams make me sad because i know it will never happen that way and the sad ones make me come back to reality and remember that i dont have her... its freakin 5 in the morning and i still cant sleep :p this kinda really sucks.

mr. blue

so it looks like i'll never be lucky in love. i dont know what it is. they just cant see who i really am and just decide that im not worth it i guess. kind of sux really. like a lot a lot really. the thing is i still cant stop thinking about her. :p just why me?