these dreams

i havent been able to sleep lately. ive been tossing and turning at night cuz i cant stop thinking of her. she's appearing in my dreams and no matter what happens in it, it keeps me from truly fall asleep. the happy dreams make me sad because i know it will never happen that way and the sad ones make me come back to reality and remember that i dont have her... its freakin 5 in the morning and i still cant sleep :p this kinda really sucks.

mr. blue

so it looks like i'll never be lucky in love. i dont know what it is. they just cant see who i really am and just decide that im not worth it i guess. kind of sux really. like a lot a lot really. the thing is i still cant stop thinking about her. :p just why me?

true faith

i think i've fallen in love. well not really. its more like i really really really like this girl. if i said i was in love with i'd feel kind of like a creeper. i hope that this will turn out good unlike its been for me my entire life :p the one thing that i didnt do wrong this time is that i finally had the guts to kiss her. lets just see how this goes. i really want this to work. i'll tell ya what happens when it happens but until then, chow.

I feel better

I don't have a lot of time i think I'm finally over her. life goes on. the end :)

mad world

people have always asked the question "what are you afraid of?" and i think i finally have an answer to that. its the fear of not know what the future hold. not knowing where im going or what im doing. but that brings up my next fear. that is having a predetermined future. having everything laid out for you and just having to follow orders. this is what i fear and this is what i have to live with every day... it could be worse.

all these things that I've done

everyone needs those moments in life where you just forget about everything. where nothing in the world matters. where there's nothing to look forward to. nothing to plan. not even a tomorrow to live for. just forget everythin and have a good time. tell a joke, have a laugh. do what ever you want. that's why im here. to let you have those moments and let go of everything that matters. to make you believe there's something left out of the ruins of your bitterness and despair that you call life.

about a girl

i know for a fact that no one will be reading this and yet im still writing. im writing about how life basically sux. to me it seems like its everyone eltses faults but i still know deep down inside its only me. im going to blame everyone though so i guess it really doesnt matter. this post is about a girl.... a most wonderful girl who basically broke my heart. but not entirely. i met her first day of college and fell for her. i went head over heels. we danced and laughed and had so much fun. the one thing i forgot to do, or more like was too afraid to do, was kiss her. after about two weeks she started to distance herself from me. she'd always have an excuse to get away from me and i have no idea why. im still to afraid to ask her why. maybe i will some day. i'll probably post something about it on here but once again no ones going to read this so why does it matter. so long and farewell..