why does it always rain on me?

well this week has been a really shitty week. everything is falling apart and everyone is canceling on me and now my freakin iPod is now fritz  and is completely busted. I'm not sure how I'm suppose to live. once again I have no one to turn to at this moment but luckily for me I'm going home tomorrow so I'll see my friends and be distracted for a little bit...maybe. but probably the worst that has happened today was when I found out that my crush now has a boyfriend so that just fucking sucks and you know whatever. life sux and then you die :p

Roxanne

I am lost and confused. I can now say that I am over the last one even though I don't think I will ever actually be completely over her. But that is not what why I am lost and confused. The stress of life and school isn't helping my problem but it might just be the one thing that is holding me together and telling myself that I can't just lose it and give up on everything. now lets dive into my confusion. I have a new crush (wow what a surprise) and I don't entirely want one right now. especially when it comes to this girl. I don't know how to get me closer because, as I have observed, she isn't the type of girl that would fall for a sweet guy like me but instead she is more driven to hot steamy sex and that is not my style of approaching things. to top everything off, when ever I hang out with her it's with a usual group of people. In this group there is a guy that used to be her make out buddy. there is always tension between them and they are constantly flirting. she says that she is over him and nothing is going to come of it, but I can see that there is still something inside of both of them that can't let the other one go. I honestly want to just give up on this girl and move one, but then I wouldn't know what I would do or where to go...or even I have the capability to let this one go.

How's it gonna be

so i took my chances and stuck my neck out. and then everything crashed and burned. i just totally got friend zoned by my huge crush. now I just feel so alone, and not because of the loss of her but because there's no one left in my world. I've got no one else to lean on and all i really had before was the thought of her and that's what kept me going. and now that that is gone I don't know what's going to happen. I have nowhere to go and now I'm scared.

I'm looking through you

I'm not sure what to do. I really like this girl and I cant stop thinking of her at all. it really shouldn't have been this difficult because it seems as though she likes me but sometimes i just cant tell. I know for a fact that she used to like me and everything, but love has a nasty habit of disappearing over night. and I know that all too well. it might just be because I'm a total coward and not being able to actually talk to her. every time I even think about talking to her I start getting nervous and I get scared because I have no idea what she would say. I'm not sure what I would do no matter the situation. if I get rejected then that would be just horrible. but an even greater fear is if she doesn't, then what do i do. I just need help I guess...

always on my mind

 I haven't stopped thinking about her ever since . even when I'm not thinking about her, Im pretending that I'm teller what I'm thinking instead. i just really want/need to talk to her. problem is that i don't know what to say. worst off is that i have no freakin idea what she would say. if i pour my heart out will i just be shut down and rejected on the spot? or maybe even worse, she'd slowly but surely drift away from me without even saying one word. just like it has always been. i just want to be happy, and all of this is blocking me from being truly at peace with my self or whatever...