always on my mind

 I haven't stopped thinking about her ever since . even when I'm not thinking about her, Im pretending that I'm teller what I'm thinking instead. i just really want/need to talk to her. problem is that i don't know what to say. worst off is that i have no freakin idea what she would say. if i pour my heart out will i just be shut down and rejected on the spot? or maybe even worse, she'd slowly but surely drift away from me without even saying one word. just like it has always been. i just want to be happy, and all of this is blocking me from being truly at peace with my self or whatever...

bitter sweet symphony

things have kinda slowed down from what they used to be. this is sorta kinda scaring me because the last time something like this happened it all ended in tragedy and all blew up in flames and stuff. but it doesn't matter because this girl is worth it and I'm gonna keep on trying till the bitter end.

help I'm alive

i am always doubting myself. its kinda weird. i am always think of the worst possible situations that would just destroy me. after awhile i start to convince myself that they are true; and im really afraid that i might be right. i so freakin hope that im wrong. i guess only time will tell....man i hate waiting. :ad

Imagine

tomorrow I'm moving back to college. I really wonder if I'm going to see her tomorrow. but honestly I'm kinda scared, because i don't know what will happen or what i should say. or even if i should just run up to her, embrace her, then never let her go ever again. but who know. only time will tell....I'm still scared tho :s

harder to breath

my job at the island lake summer camp is finally over. but i find it kinda weird because when ever i was with the kids i always felt stressed and stuff. and now that its over and all the kids are gone, im actually starting to miss them. i even cried last night along with all my campers. i will never forget my summer here at island lake. :'(